Random thoughts on singleness

A topic which has come up alot recently in different conversations is the issue of singleness. How does/should the church relate to singles? How are singles treated? What do singles need? How do people perceive singles? Being a single myself many of the conversations really hit home with me. After hearing some different ideas about it I wrote some of my thoughts. I hope you will read it and take to heart whatever God may lead you to. Don't feel like just because you aren't single you can't read it. These are thoughts which can apply to all people.

Almost 40 and not married whats wrong with you? 20 years old and you only want to get married whats wrong with being single? 50 years old and happily single? No Sunday School class at your church which you feel a part of because you aren’t married or you don't have children? Do any of these sound familiar? Tired of hearing the clichés like God has the right one just waiting for you? Or stop looking and it will happen.

Singleness is meant to be a gift not a time when you feel like a lesser person because you don’t have a spouse or children. The single life can be fulfilling but it can also be frustrating. I challenge you to think about one question is your church single friendly? Are you single friendly? Not to be a matchmaking service for singles but to be a place where singles can join together for support and encouragement. Did you notice the person who quietly walked into to the church service last Sunday and sat by himself? Did you go talk to him? Did you reach out to him? Or were you in such a hurry to get out that you didn’t acknowledge him?

Being single doesn’t always mean that we have more money because it is only one person to care for and it doesn’t mean we have more time for God’s work. We are still people who have needs and wants. I challenge you have you said before he’s not married he has time to do such and such? Maybe singles do have more flexible time than what married people with children have but maybe you are expecting them to do things they don’t want to do just because they are single.

If you’ve been married for 10 or 20 years do you remember what it was like to be single? Or have you ever known? Were you married straight out of high school or college? Do you remember how sometimes it would just be nice to have a family dinner time? Yes even with the 3 year old who throws his food all over the place or the 6 year old who wants to tell you about his pet turtle or the 10 year old who doesn’t want to practice the piano like you are asking him to do.

In God's eyes we each have a gift which we can bring to His service and that is what we are called to do. For some people that may mean having 6 children, for others that may mean never having children of their own. But the one thing that He calls us to do is to love Him first and foremost and to love others, whether it is the single, the married, the widowed, the divorced, or whoever it might be.