Fears....

9-21-05

Fears…When you think of fears you probably think of fear of animals, fear of heights, fear of sky diving, fear of water or other things like that. But there are other types of fears. This week I have really been dealing with fears of failure. Failure to God, failure to friends and family who are supporting me in this missionary endeavor and fear of failure in general, and other fears. As I look at my personality type I recognize that my personality type doesn’t allow for failure. I will do everything that I can not to fail you as a friend and I will do everything I can not to fail. These fears which I have been dealing with have brought me closer to God these past few days.

As I looked at a devotional from the book, Voices of the Faithful. I was struck by one which could have easily been written by me. The person who wrote it said that I am faced with fears of failure, (many of the same ones which I have been experiencing). She said that she had to realize that she isn’t superhuman; she only has to be obedient to what God has called her to do. She said she simply needs a heart which will trust God. That is the same place where I am at. I simply need a heart which will trust God.

My days this week have not been easier but my attitude has been lighter because I gave these fears to God. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, it doesn’t mean it will be a quick fix-even though I would like that, it just means that I need a heart which will trust God through all this.

A key thing which I need to remember is that when these fears come up. I can say yes, fears you are right, HOWEVER, I have a God who I can trust to get me through these fears.

For those of you who have been wondering and wanting specific ways to pray for me, I hope I’ve shared some with you. My intent was to share with you so you would know how to pray for me. Pray that I would trust in 1 Thessalonians 5:24 which says He who is faithful, He will do it. Because I know that all that is done here is not because of me, it’s all because of God. Pray that I would allow myself to know that it is okay to take a break and pray that I would find social and emotional outlets. Many times we, as Americans, think we have to stay busy all the time and be doing something. And I pray that you will allow yourself to take a break. Most of all pray that in the midst of it all I will have a heart that will trust God through all of this.